It’s not that SeXY
Being intersex has been, and will continue to be, the most beautiful struggle I’ve ever faced.
Some days my internalized testes make me feel like I can do absolutely anything I put my mind to.
Other days, my superficial vaginal canal is the bane of my existence.
Having to “come out” to every new person I have sex with is often a humiliating and degrading experience — talking about my XY chromosomes isn’t the sexiest form of foreplay. Admittedly, the complication of sex is, in my opinion, the only down fall of my syndrome. I should be more grateful, but because sex is so engrained into our culture, I feel like I’m at an incredible disadvantage.
It’s disheartening to think that I may never have a “normal” sexual experience. Sure, there are surgeries and dilators, but both require time and money. I’m not going to pay for something that my sensory receptors probably won’t enjoy anyways.
However, if I remain the same, all of my long term relationships seem predestined to fail. Sometimes I wonder: Is my inability to have sex subconsciously affecting the way I date?
I don’t think that’s a good conclusion but I’ll deal with that later.
